xcrament

Too Fat To Fish

26 November, 2008 (10:14) | Artie Lange

Due to minor technical difficulties with my digi cam and a lack of anything truly interesting going on in my life, my site has been slacking. But with both those aspects being corrected its time for an update. As many of you may or may not know I have been a more than loyal listener to the Howard Stern Show for over 20 years. Every morning getting every minute of it I. In recent years passed he added a new side kick named Artie Lange to replace Jackie the Jokeman. It wasnt long before Artie became one of the best things that ever happened to the show. You know the old ” if there was one person in the world i could have dinner with…” Obama? nah… Abe Lincoln? nah…Jeff the Drunk?…maybe. It would definitely be none other than the overweight heroin junkie, former cocaine addict, alcoholic with a terrible gambling habit and a love for prostitutes, Arthur Lange. He was signing copies of his new book “Too Fat To Fish”which is full of entertaining and hilarious stories of all his good qualities I mentioned above. Off to the Barnes and Noble on Rittenhouse Sq. in center city Philly. *****Disclaimer***** Clearly i had my camera set on: Take the Shittiest Picture Possible setting all night. forgive me

I work and Brett lives in South Philly. Fastest commute and best parking is guaranteed on two wheels

front row parking

i stopped in earlier and got bracelets so we wouldnt have to wait in line with the thousands. they were calling people by letter. 50 people for each letter. lucky for me i was 5th in line for a bracelet earlier

the place was mobbed. brett and i were not together but close. we had a text conversation to try and figure out exactly how far apart we were. the guy behind me had a serious goatee. toatlly serious goat. dont just take my word for it

told ya

and then there was this guy..i got a pic but it was awful.

security was tight. including Howards head of security…Ronnie “the limo driver” Mund

Whack Packers in attendance: seated Awesome Angelo (left) and High Pitch Eric (right)

My turn. A simple handshake and a comment on my Philly’s hat= Best 5 sec of my life.

I was probably 15th out of a thousand. it worked out well. didnt hardly have to wait

Brett was about 20 heads behind me

New Jerseys finest were out by the masses and done up like it was a New Years eve party. This is an actual conversation word for word that I heard while they reviewed pics next to me as i waited for Brett.

Awful Jersey Girl on the Right: “Did you hear him comment on my tits”

Her Friend who is equally a mess on the left: “Thats what we show cleavage for”